Balance

     Balance. The ability to give your time to multiple parts of your life. For years I've been trying to find this, trying to give myself some. It hasn't come. I have been all consumed by one thing, and although it's positive and rewarding, it's had a negative impact too. This year while sitting in a meeting, talking about advice for the new year, I heard someone say, "This job is tough. It's a 365 day/24 hour job. It can take all you've got, but if you're not enjoying the ride, it's not worth it. All of a sudden it hit me. I wasn't enjoying the ride. I was going through the motions, trying as hard as I could to be the ultimate best I could be, pushing and pushing myself to the limit.  I was exhausted and still came home feeling unsuccessful and frustrated. For years I had heard that I needed to let the small stuff slide and take part in other things. Someone even gave me a gift card to go to the movies. The card said, "For balance." It took me over a year to use that card.
       After my realization, I made a goal. No matter what it took, this year I was going to find some balance. I was going to still work hard, and still do my best, but I wasn't going to be perfect. I was going to do what I could do and then stop worrying and go do something fun.
       And you know what? I'm doing it! And guess what? It's SO worth it! You would think that filling my very limited spare time with other activities (when I used to yearn for that time to watch a movie or just relax and read a book) would make me more stressed out. Actually, it's done the opposite. I am tutoring a kid on the side for 4 hours a week- and guess what- I'm making a difference. Sometimes that is hard to see in the classroom when test scores arise. I put in all this effort and I feel like a failure. Tutoring has helped me to step out of that box- to realize that I do make a difference, whether or not the test scores show it.
       I'm also stepping out of my comfort zone. Never in a million years did I think I would ever join a gym. Are you kidding? There was NO way I was going to go work out in front of a bunch of people. I love to swim though. I found the most amazing class - Aqua Zumba! It's the best. First of all, no one can see you if you mess up. Second, you don't sweat like a pig because the water temperature cools your body down. Third- everyone is just there to have fun. After one time, I was hooked and have been going ever since. I'm actually sad that I have a dentist appointment next week and won't be able to go. Who would have thought I'd ever think that? Normally I'd have been like Yes!
       Do you know what the best part of all of this is? Even though I'm still getting very little sleep, I feel like I have so much more energy during the day. I am more patient with my students,  I am more enthusiastic, and I have fun. The most important part- I'm enjoying the ride. We're only a couple of weeks in and today it hit me, I love my class. So here's to balance- and keeping it all year.

A lesson on air pressure- waiting to see if the water will dump on my head. The kids sure thought so!

These guys were awesome! Thanks United Way Day of Caring!