Maybe It's For Me
As most of you know, I have been serving in Young Womens for the past couple of months. It's been fun but an adjustment too. I have fond memories of YW and I loved my leaders and the other youth. We became close and spent a lot of time together. Even after coming to college, one of my YW leaders moved to Orem and would pick all of us YW up that were attending BYU to go to her house for dinner and desserts. We even babysat for her a couple of times. It was fun and I was sad to see her move away.
Experiencing YW from the leader point of view has been way different. There are very few youth in the ward. There are only about 10 YW total and not all of them come. I am in charge of beehives and we recently just had a new girl turn 12 so there are now 3 girls. I've had a hard time adjusting to it all. Maybe it was because in my mind I imagined coming in, being introduced to all the girls and leaders, instantly connecting with both groups, and loving every minute. I know, perfect world right? The truth is, it all takes time. Instead of being introduced, I am slowly asking names and trying to remember them. I'm forcing myself to say hi instead of being called over. I'm making myself make friends instead of them instantly happening. And I'm realizing something: Maybe it's for me.
I came into YW thinking that I was instantly going to fit in, that I would make tons of friends, that the YW would love me right away.... and on and on. Now I'm realizing that maybe I'm in YW not for the girls, but for me. Maybe I need to change, not them. Maybe I need to be more courageous and brave in talking to other people instead of waiting for people to talk to me. Maybe those lessons that I am teaching are for me, instead of the girls. Maybe the reason that I taught on how to strengthen your testimony is because I needed the help strengthening mine. I spend a lot of time on the lessons and every week walk away realizing that "WOW, I needed that." Maybe the lesson we learned this week on the priesthood was for me to realize the blessings it has had on my life. I'm sure the teacher didn't realize what an impact she had, and maybe the girls didn't participate as much as she wanted, but I sure walked away with a lot. Maybe the reason I'm in this calling is not so I can make an impact on the girls, but so that the girls and leaders can make an impact on me.
So when I'm feeling frustrated and like I'm not making a difference, I'm going to remind myself once again, "Maybe it's for me."
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| ready to leave for girls camp/youth conference one summer |
Experiencing YW from the leader point of view has been way different. There are very few youth in the ward. There are only about 10 YW total and not all of them come. I am in charge of beehives and we recently just had a new girl turn 12 so there are now 3 girls. I've had a hard time adjusting to it all. Maybe it was because in my mind I imagined coming in, being introduced to all the girls and leaders, instantly connecting with both groups, and loving every minute. I know, perfect world right? The truth is, it all takes time. Instead of being introduced, I am slowly asking names and trying to remember them. I'm forcing myself to say hi instead of being called over. I'm making myself make friends instead of them instantly happening. And I'm realizing something: Maybe it's for me.
I came into YW thinking that I was instantly going to fit in, that I would make tons of friends, that the YW would love me right away.... and on and on. Now I'm realizing that maybe I'm in YW not for the girls, but for me. Maybe I need to change, not them. Maybe I need to be more courageous and brave in talking to other people instead of waiting for people to talk to me. Maybe those lessons that I am teaching are for me, instead of the girls. Maybe the reason that I taught on how to strengthen your testimony is because I needed the help strengthening mine. I spend a lot of time on the lessons and every week walk away realizing that "WOW, I needed that." Maybe the lesson we learned this week on the priesthood was for me to realize the blessings it has had on my life. I'm sure the teacher didn't realize what an impact she had, and maybe the girls didn't participate as much as she wanted, but I sure walked away with a lot. Maybe the reason I'm in this calling is not so I can make an impact on the girls, but so that the girls and leaders can make an impact on me.
So when I'm feeling frustrated and like I'm not making a difference, I'm going to remind myself once again, "Maybe it's for me."
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Beautiful insight Katelynn! I was put into YW's shortly after we were married too. I felt not much different than the YW. I have served a few other times in YW's since then and still have found it to be a difficult calling. Now that I have girls who are YW age I feel like I understand them a bit more. Callings can be hard and I think you are right they are usually for us!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that people feel the same way I do. I too, still feel so young. I was just in there 6 years ago. It seems odd to be over the girls at my age. Thanks for you reply!
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