Bullying

      Today I talked with my students about bullying. The topic is definitely not a new one, and it's one that often times I hear sighs or see rolled eyes over. I sometimes feel like I can just hear them saying, "We've done this. We know this. Again?" However, it's such an important topic and it's one that is close to my heart so I just keep on teaching it, hoping that some day it will get through to them that being unkind to others hurts and is not okay.
     I started out by asking them to raise their hand if they have ever moved and had to go to a new school. Most of the class raised their hand. I asked them to think of their first day and the feelings they had before and the feelings they had after the day was done. Then I showed this video. It's from a program called stop bullying now from www.stopbullying.gov.

             I asked the students what KB's first day was like and how she felt afterwards. 

I then shared an experience of my own. The summer of my 9th grade year, my family moved. On my first day of school, I knew no one, except my sister who was in the grade above. A group of girls knew I was from Pennsylvania and asked me if I was amish. I said no. They asked, "Don't a lot of Amish people live there?" and I told them yes they did but that didn't mean I was Amish. They asked me all sorts of questions like, "Do you have a car?" Yes I would reply. "Well is it pulled by horses? was there response. This insistent teasing started quickly and soon encompassed most the class. The girls were popular and other students laughed and quickly joined in.This started in one class and spread through all my other classes. I could not escape their hurtful words. It escalated to my locker even, where they wouldn't let me open it. Finally, one day I approached my science teacher and told him what happened. He told me that girls will be girls and not to worry about it. That same day in class, we were doing a lab and I was moving from station to station to try and complete it. At each station, the girls would take the things I needed and tell me I couldn't look at it.  I kept switching stations, but they just followed. Finally, the teacher noticed what was happening and came over. He asked what was going on to which the girls replied that I was taking their things and not allowing them to look at it. I got in trouble and was told to sit down. 

        I decided that this teacher was not going to do anything. Days passed as I sat through all my classes being mercilessly teased. I continued to sit all alone at lunch and not have any friends. One other teacher noticed I seemed upset and spoke to me. When I told him what was happening, he had the same response as the first teacher. He told me that girls would be girls. 

      Finally, after months had passed, I went the guidance counselor. I cried to her about the whole situation. Do you know what her response was? She told me to get a thicker skin. 

      6th months into school, something changed. It was a normal day in science, and the girls were teasing me once again. All of a sudden, a random girl in the class stood up. She said, "Stop it! Stop being mean to her! She hasn't done anything to you! Leave her alone!" The other girls were shocked.           The bullying didn't stop immediately, but eventually it ceased. All thanks to one girl who had the courage to stand up for something that wasn't okay. 

      I told my students that I had told that story for a couple reasons. The first one was that bullying impacts people's lives. It's been over 8 years since that incident happened, but I can still remember it as clear as yesterday. I can still remember how much it hurt and how much I hated school. The second reason is because that one student, changed my world. She was brave enough to stand up to a popular group of girls and tell them to stop. She could have just kept on watching, but she didn't. She took a stand, and for that I'll forever be grateful to her. 

     My last reason for telling the story is because I told 3 different teachers I was being bullied and they didn't do anything about it. One of the reasons why I became a teacher is to make sure that no student ever feels the way I did. I told my students that I hope that they would come to me if they were being bullied because I wouldn't tell them that boys will be boys or girls will be girls. We would stop it and come to a solution together. 

     To wrap up the lesson, we watched the following videos. I told the students to think as they watched about what they would do, starting today, if they saw someone being bullied. 

this was my student's favorite

     After the lesson, I read the students responses. I was surprised how many of my students have been bullied. I was saddened by how many of them have been bullies themselves. I was touched by some of the students who stopped bullying and made the world a different place for those students. 

    Maybe it was just another bullying lesson, but maybe it made a difference. My hope is that it made at least one student think about not bullying the next time he/she is handed the opportunity.

 Stop bullying now.